Royal Purple

Issue date: 2/20/08 Section: Lifestyle

Media Credit: Nou Thao

Media Credit: Nou Thao

"Helicopter parents," is the new label given to parents who pay very close attention to their child's lives, especially when their kids are away at college.

Students with helicopter parents were happier with their college experience and excelled in critical thinking and writing, according to a study conducted by the National Survey of Student Engagement.

Freshman Alex John said his parents had mixed feelings when he left for college.

"It's a change, but I was the last child out of my family to leave for college," John said. "It was weird for them not having a kid there. I know they're going to miss me, but they're used to it."

John said his parents give him the space he needs.

"It's a healthy 'hover,'" John said. "It's not too overwhelming; they don't call me everyday."

John said the space his parents give him has helped him.

"I think it teaches me how to handle responsibility and independence," he said. "I rely on myself."

Freshman Sam Werlein said his older siblings who went to college before him helped his parents cope with his leaving for college.

"I think my dad sort of had a difficult time," Werlein said. "I'm the sixth child out of seven in my family to go to college though, so I think they're used to it."

Werlein said his parents understand he's away from home now.

"They know what college life is like," Werlein said.

Werlein said he usually talks to his parents once a week.

"It's nice," Werlein said. "It helps me become an adult. Like all college kids should be doing."

Sophomore Jenna Dolley said her parents didn't have a problem with her going to college.

"They still have a little one at home," Dolley said. "I went to UW-Stout my freshman year. I actually go here now to be closer to home."

Dolley said the space her parents give her helps.

"I'm pretty independent," Dolley said. "I see my parents most weekends though because I work back at home."

Director of Career and Leadership Development Ron Buchholz said parents are playing a large role in students' lives today but need to allow some space.

"A student should never bring their parent to a job interview," Buchholz said. "Employers are looking for students who are independent. Having a parent at a job interview would be a huge disadvantage."

Senior Keith Shepard said he would be hesitant to bring a parent to a job interview.

"I probably wouldn't," Shepard said. "It would show you can't do stuff on your own. It would look more professional if you were by yourself. Employers are looking for independent people."

Buchholz recently attended the Wisconsin Association of Colleges and Employers convention and said today's employers are aware of helicopter parents.

"There were about five companies there who have had parents call them and ask them to give their child better pay or benefits," Buchholz said. "Some companies are actually holding orientations now for students' parents when hiring, so the parents have an idea of the company and its culture."

Buchholz said today's parents are much different than his parents' generation.

"I went to school in the `70s, so I wanted to be more independent as a student," Buchholz said. "My generation is more involved as parents though."

Buchholz said he encouraged parents being active in their children's lives but said parents can be too involved.

"There's definitely a grey area with parents, and a line parents can cross," Buchholz said. "A lot of parents today are offering career advice. At Career Development we want parents to be our ally. They shouldn't be making life decisions for their child though."

Peer Mentor Coordinator Kim Simes said when it comes to helicopter parents, involvement varies with each student.

"In the past couple of years we have seen an increase in parent involvement," Simes said. "We've also seen a lot of effort by students to involve their parents. Some students call their parents every day."

Simes said she believes each student needs support.

"For some students it may prolong their independence if a parent makes all the decisions for them," she said. "There's a fine line between supporting a student and controlling them."

Simes said there is a federal law called the Family Educational Rights and Privacy Act protecting student information from their parents.

"University officials are not allowed to give out information without a release form signed by a student," she said. "We can't give out any information about a student's grades or financial information without the student signing a release form. The one exception is if a student has a medical emergency involving alcohol or drugs. Then information can be given out."

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