2008 Woodie Awards
Dear Abi - On again, off again relationships
Abigail Naumann
Issue date: 2/13/08 Section: Lifestyle
Dear Abi,
My boyfriend and I have been dating for awhile, and after several breakups, I am wondering if breaking up all of the time is a sign that things won't work out. What are your thoughts on a relationship that is built around breaking up and getting back together?
Break-up Betty
Dear Betty,
I'm pretty sure that deep inside you already know the answer to this question.
It should come as no surprise to you that rarely is breaking up considered a good thing. In fact, most people would associate breaking up with a few days span of binging on boxes of chocolate and memory induced pity parties. But sooner or later, it boils down to overcoming the sappy stupor and motivating yourself to move on.
However, it seems that once you reach the moving-on part you crack under pressure and revert to what's comfortable and natural - your old relationship.
You probably apologize to each other endlessly, and solemnly swear, "this time around things will be different." But, as we all know, history tends to repeat itself, and relationships are no exception.
I'm not saying there is no chance for a relationship down the road, but right now something is missing.
Relationships that thrive on dramatic break-ups and reunions lack an important piece of the puzzle. Perhaps the chemistry is there, but not the timing; the desire, but not the communication.
Why waste your time with foolish games, when you are surrounded with so many opportunities to be happy and succeed in other ways? By messing around with a meaningless relationship you are denying other chances to meet new people, try new things, and expand your horizons.
Although I know you want to make this relationship work, sometimes there is only so much you can do, before you let go of the reigns and let life take its course.
I suggest that you take a serious step back from your situation and reevaluate. Is this really what's best for you, or are you too afraid of change?
Best of luck,
Abi
My boyfriend and I have been dating for awhile, and after several breakups, I am wondering if breaking up all of the time is a sign that things won't work out. What are your thoughts on a relationship that is built around breaking up and getting back together?
Break-up Betty
Dear Betty,
I'm pretty sure that deep inside you already know the answer to this question.
It should come as no surprise to you that rarely is breaking up considered a good thing. In fact, most people would associate breaking up with a few days span of binging on boxes of chocolate and memory induced pity parties. But sooner or later, it boils down to overcoming the sappy stupor and motivating yourself to move on.
However, it seems that once you reach the moving-on part you crack under pressure and revert to what's comfortable and natural - your old relationship.
You probably apologize to each other endlessly, and solemnly swear, "this time around things will be different." But, as we all know, history tends to repeat itself, and relationships are no exception.
I'm not saying there is no chance for a relationship down the road, but right now something is missing.
Relationships that thrive on dramatic break-ups and reunions lack an important piece of the puzzle. Perhaps the chemistry is there, but not the timing; the desire, but not the communication.
Why waste your time with foolish games, when you are surrounded with so many opportunities to be happy and succeed in other ways? By messing around with a meaningless relationship you are denying other chances to meet new people, try new things, and expand your horizons.
Although I know you want to make this relationship work, sometimes there is only so much you can do, before you let go of the reigns and let life take its course.
I suggest that you take a serious step back from your situation and reevaluate. Is this really what's best for you, or are you too afraid of change?
Best of luck,
Abi
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