2008 Woodie Awards
Support and understanding key to helping victims of abuse, speaker says
Janina Wesolowski
Issue date: 11/7/07 Section: WEB EXTRAS
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Last Tuesday, Chris J. Strauss of the YWCA in Rock County gave a presentation in Hyer Hall about his work on the frontline of domestic violence at the YWCA in Rock County. The presentation was sponsored by Amnesty International.
"Some days it's easy, some days it's hectic," Strauss said about his job.
Strauss and a custodian are the only male employees of the YWCA. Strauss encounters two different kinds of abuse at his job: physical abuse and psychological abuse, both of which are centered on control and power. The most common victims at the Rock County YWCA are women and children who have been abused by men.
Strauss shared a number of ways that abusive men can try to use their power to control women and children.
One such way is by isolating the victim. An abused woman who is prevented from talking to anyone usually means her abuser is less likely to be able to report her abuse. If she cannot leave the house without his permission or can only leave if he goes with her, she cannot easily get to a shelter or somewhere safe.
Often times, abusers try to minimize the abuse or blame the victim for abuse, in addition to using emotional abuse, Strauss said. In instances like this, the abuser may shift the blame to the woman, saying it is her fault that he hit her. If she would have had his beer or his dinner ready, he would not have to hit her to teach her a lesson. Women and children who are constantly put down, humiliated, or told they are crazy may start to believe the abuser. They internalize the abuse and begin to believe they deserve the abuse and think they are lucky to have someone to love them, even if it is only the abuser.
Coercion, intimidation and threats to children are means to scare the victim into not reporting the abuse and not leaving the abuser. Women are less likely to leave abusive relationships when they fear greater physical harm for them, their children or their pets.
"Ultimately, the victim must decide when they want to leave," Strauss said. "Others can encourage and support victims, but we cannot live their life for them."
"Some days it's easy, some days it's hectic," Strauss said about his job.
Strauss and a custodian are the only male employees of the YWCA. Strauss encounters two different kinds of abuse at his job: physical abuse and psychological abuse, both of which are centered on control and power. The most common victims at the Rock County YWCA are women and children who have been abused by men.
Strauss shared a number of ways that abusive men can try to use their power to control women and children.
One such way is by isolating the victim. An abused woman who is prevented from talking to anyone usually means her abuser is less likely to be able to report her abuse. If she cannot leave the house without his permission or can only leave if he goes with her, she cannot easily get to a shelter or somewhere safe.
Often times, abusers try to minimize the abuse or blame the victim for abuse, in addition to using emotional abuse, Strauss said. In instances like this, the abuser may shift the blame to the woman, saying it is her fault that he hit her. If she would have had his beer or his dinner ready, he would not have to hit her to teach her a lesson. Women and children who are constantly put down, humiliated, or told they are crazy may start to believe the abuser. They internalize the abuse and begin to believe they deserve the abuse and think they are lucky to have someone to love them, even if it is only the abuser.
Coercion, intimidation and threats to children are means to scare the victim into not reporting the abuse and not leaving the abuser. Women are less likely to leave abusive relationships when they fear greater physical harm for them, their children or their pets.
"Ultimately, the victim must decide when they want to leave," Strauss said. "Others can encourage and support victims, but we cannot live their life for them."
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