2008 Woodie Awards
Coping with campus deaths
Elise Sommerfeldt
Issue date: 9/5/07 Section: Arts & Lifestyle
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Tragedy struck the community this summer with the unexpected deaths of students and staff. Friends and family are still mourning the loss of Kelly Nolan, Scott Miller and P.B. Poorman.
There is no right or wrong way to cope with death, and no one, not even a psychologist, can tell someone exactly what to do to make the pain and sadness of loosing a friend go away.
However, students in mourning and counselors have advice and suggestions to share on how to get through this difficult time.
Senior Anthony Nigbur knew Nolan for more than a year before her death. His initial feelings after hearing about the tragedy could be summed up as shock, disbelief and uncertainty. Once the reality sunk in, Nigbur found himself more deeply affected than he expected to be.
"I wasn't truly affected until I really thought about it when I was at work," Nigbur said. "I was sitting listening to the radio when I heard her name and my eyes teared up."
Nigbur stressed the importance of speaking with someone about your feelings to get over the pain of losing a friend.
"You need someone … to help you see the silver lining," Nigbur said. "Talk to your parents. Talk to your friends. Talk to a counselor. Talk to someone."
Richard Jazdzewski, psychologist at the University Health & Counseling Services (UHCS), described Nigbur's reaction as typical.
"A young person may expect to deal with a greater sense of shock or denial about the death of a peer or friend versus a grandparent because it tends to violate our conception of a normal life span," Jazdzewski said.
It may be hard to believe there could be a silver lining in the midst of such sorrow, but it could be as simple as learning an important life lesson.
Senior Gerald Ngede was a friend of Nolan for two years. Following her death, he reexamined the way he viewed his own life.
"I couldn't imagine [myself] dying at her age," Ngede said. "It was a reality check for me. I started appreciating every day."
There is no right or wrong way to cope with death, and no one, not even a psychologist, can tell someone exactly what to do to make the pain and sadness of loosing a friend go away.
However, students in mourning and counselors have advice and suggestions to share on how to get through this difficult time.
Senior Anthony Nigbur knew Nolan for more than a year before her death. His initial feelings after hearing about the tragedy could be summed up as shock, disbelief and uncertainty. Once the reality sunk in, Nigbur found himself more deeply affected than he expected to be.
"I wasn't truly affected until I really thought about it when I was at work," Nigbur said. "I was sitting listening to the radio when I heard her name and my eyes teared up."
Nigbur stressed the importance of speaking with someone about your feelings to get over the pain of losing a friend.
"You need someone … to help you see the silver lining," Nigbur said. "Talk to your parents. Talk to your friends. Talk to a counselor. Talk to someone."
Richard Jazdzewski, psychologist at the University Health & Counseling Services (UHCS), described Nigbur's reaction as typical.
"A young person may expect to deal with a greater sense of shock or denial about the death of a peer or friend versus a grandparent because it tends to violate our conception of a normal life span," Jazdzewski said.
It may be hard to believe there could be a silver lining in the midst of such sorrow, but it could be as simple as learning an important life lesson.
Senior Gerald Ngede was a friend of Nolan for two years. Following her death, he reexamined the way he viewed his own life.
"I couldn't imagine [myself] dying at her age," Ngede said. "It was a reality check for me. I started appreciating every day."
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